Thursday, April 01, 2004

She is here!!!!! Amelia Grace arrived at 8:33am on March 22nd! She weighted 8lbs 1oz and was 20 1/2 inches long. We are sooooo excited to have her here with us! I can hardly believe it and each time I hold her I feel the wonder of it! There really was a baby in there, and she is healthy! After 4 miscarriages, and so much grief, there is finally some joyful closure!!

I went in at 6am that morning, and they started my I.V. and shaved me (hate that part!). Then they came and got me around 7:30 and took me back to the OR. In the OR I was surrounded by all the people I know and trust.....of course my husband, the nurses that I work with, my wonderful doctor, and my best friend Donna, who is not only my OB docs wife but an anesthesiologist too! The NA (who works for Donna) came in and started my epidural, which took all of 5 minutes from start to finish and I didn't feel a thing! Unreal! Then they laid me back and put in my catheter and prepped me for surgery. Dr. Tim scrubbed up and they got started.

Early on, right after dosing my epidural, my blood pressure dropped into the 60's and they had to give me some epinephrine. I knew it was happening, and told them I was dizzy and going to be sick. I threw up a bit, but it wasn't too bad. Once they gave me the meds, I was fine, just still a bit nervous. They let me have my hands free, so I was able to hold Bill's hand and move my arms freely.

I felt some pulling and tugging, and Donna told me they were in the uterus. The next thing I knew, I heard the baby crying.....what an incredible sound!! She started crying just as soon as they pulled her head out to suction her! I started crying and sobbed "I can't believe she's okay!" Then out came the rest of her body, and I heard Tim say "It's a girl"! It was an amazing thing to experience. They brought her right around to me and when I saw her, I felt such a tremendous amount of relief and joy! She was huge looking, with rolls of fat all over her!! She was also COVERED in vernix! They took her to the warmer, recovered her and cleaned her up a bit, then brought her to me again. Bill held her and I kissed her face. After 38.5 weeks of constant worry and fear, I could finally look at her face and touch her! How miraculous!

They sutured me up, and I spent a very short time in recovery, then went back to my room with the baby. She nursed right away without any problems! I spent the whole day in some kind of dream-like amazement........I questioned the nurses over and over "Is she okay", "There's nothing wrong with her, right?" It just seemed like it was all too good to be true. After all that had happened with the miscarriages etc, I was just waiting for the next shoe to drop.........I had been conditioned to expect the worse, so I prepared myself for sadness.

It never came. She is gorgeous and healthy and we are so in love with her!

On Sunday night, Amelia was nursing every 1 1/2 hours, so sleep was not to be. I sat up with her, watching her squirm in my lap. My curly haired 3yo had climbed onto the bed around 12am, and he was sleeping soundly next to me. I picked up a pen and a card that I had for Bill, and wrote him a letter of love and thanks for the incredible gifts of his devotion, and the 4 beautiful children we now have. I was overwhelmed with God's grace and love, and I cried as I wrote to Bill how much each one of our children have blessed us, and the uniqueness of each child. I told him "So, when I say you make my life complete, please remember that I mention above 4 very real, tangible expressions of that life you have given me and of the love you have showered on me in our life together." I marveled and asked "how I could deserve all of this happiness?...........I don't have the answer to this, but I will accept the gift of my family and praise Him because of it!"

My MIL gave me a card with the name "Grace" on it and what it means. It also has a scripture on it, that I will close with;

"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding." Proverbs 3:5

Amen

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