Tuesday, January 10, 2006

While I was keeping this journal, I had no way of adding pictures to it. Now I can!

So, without further adue, I present Miss Amelia Grace, 21 months old:

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

Amelia is almost 8 months old now!! She is growing like a weed and such a complete joy to us all!

When I ended this blog after her birth, I did start another on a different server, but did not post a link here. This blog was a journey that had such a happy ending....it just felt complete after her arrival. I wasn't sure what the content of the new blog would be, now that I had delivered Mia, so I decided not to link to it.

I hope all of you the best, and may God bless you.

Thursday, April 01, 2004

She is here!!!!! Amelia Grace arrived at 8:33am on March 22nd! She weighted 8lbs 1oz and was 20 1/2 inches long. We are sooooo excited to have her here with us! I can hardly believe it and each time I hold her I feel the wonder of it! There really was a baby in there, and she is healthy! After 4 miscarriages, and so much grief, there is finally some joyful closure!!

I went in at 6am that morning, and they started my I.V. and shaved me (hate that part!). Then they came and got me around 7:30 and took me back to the OR. In the OR I was surrounded by all the people I know and trust.....of course my husband, the nurses that I work with, my wonderful doctor, and my best friend Donna, who is not only my OB docs wife but an anesthesiologist too! The NA (who works for Donna) came in and started my epidural, which took all of 5 minutes from start to finish and I didn't feel a thing! Unreal! Then they laid me back and put in my catheter and prepped me for surgery. Dr. Tim scrubbed up and they got started.

Early on, right after dosing my epidural, my blood pressure dropped into the 60's and they had to give me some epinephrine. I knew it was happening, and told them I was dizzy and going to be sick. I threw up a bit, but it wasn't too bad. Once they gave me the meds, I was fine, just still a bit nervous. They let me have my hands free, so I was able to hold Bill's hand and move my arms freely.

I felt some pulling and tugging, and Donna told me they were in the uterus. The next thing I knew, I heard the baby crying.....what an incredible sound!! She started crying just as soon as they pulled her head out to suction her! I started crying and sobbed "I can't believe she's okay!" Then out came the rest of her body, and I heard Tim say "It's a girl"! It was an amazing thing to experience. They brought her right around to me and when I saw her, I felt such a tremendous amount of relief and joy! She was huge looking, with rolls of fat all over her!! She was also COVERED in vernix! They took her to the warmer, recovered her and cleaned her up a bit, then brought her to me again. Bill held her and I kissed her face. After 38.5 weeks of constant worry and fear, I could finally look at her face and touch her! How miraculous!

They sutured me up, and I spent a very short time in recovery, then went back to my room with the baby. She nursed right away without any problems! I spent the whole day in some kind of dream-like amazement........I questioned the nurses over and over "Is she okay", "There's nothing wrong with her, right?" It just seemed like it was all too good to be true. After all that had happened with the miscarriages etc, I was just waiting for the next shoe to drop.........I had been conditioned to expect the worse, so I prepared myself for sadness.

It never came. She is gorgeous and healthy and we are so in love with her!

On Sunday night, Amelia was nursing every 1 1/2 hours, so sleep was not to be. I sat up with her, watching her squirm in my lap. My curly haired 3yo had climbed onto the bed around 12am, and he was sleeping soundly next to me. I picked up a pen and a card that I had for Bill, and wrote him a letter of love and thanks for the incredible gifts of his devotion, and the 4 beautiful children we now have. I was overwhelmed with God's grace and love, and I cried as I wrote to Bill how much each one of our children have blessed us, and the uniqueness of each child. I told him "So, when I say you make my life complete, please remember that I mention above 4 very real, tangible expressions of that life you have given me and of the love you have showered on me in our life together." I marveled and asked "how I could deserve all of this happiness?...........I don't have the answer to this, but I will accept the gift of my family and praise Him because of it!"

My MIL gave me a card with the name "Grace" on it and what it means. It also has a scripture on it, that I will close with;

"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding." Proverbs 3:5


Saturday, March 20, 2004

It has been a long 2 years. I had my first miscarriage in February of 2002, and now will be giving birth to a little girl in one more day. It all seems so strange! Why the 4 miscarriages? Why did this baby make it? I know that I will never have the answers to those questions while I am alive......only God knows the reasons.

When I was grieving so badly after my 4th miscarriage, I remember asking what I had done to cause them, and my doctor quoted scripture to me. It was from my favorite book of the Bible..the Gospel of John. He quoted John 9:1-4:

As he went along, he saw a man blind from birth. His disciple asked him, "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?"

"Neither this man nor his parents sinned," said Jesus, "but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life. As long as it is day, we must do the work of him who sent me......"

Dr. Tim said, "I think sometimes these things happen and from them we learn how to love more". Hearing these words was the beginning of my journey to healing. I knew that I had a choice.....I could turn my experience into bitterness and sorrow, wallowing in self pity, or I could take what had happened and Glorify God and Christ in my life. I would like to believe that over time, I succeeded in the second option.....I know I reverted to the self pity from time to time, but eventually God's glory came through.

I have since given several talks and shared my story with other believers, who I hope were able to take God's message and turn their own pain over to Him.

So, yes, it has been a rough, long 2 years....but I wouldn't trade it for anything. A friend summed it up best for me.....she said, "Jody, I know it has been so painful and hard. But, you helped create four souls in Heaven praising God....that CANNOT be a bad thing!"

No, it certainly is not!

Friday, March 19, 2004

Had a VERY eventful night of contractions. They were so strong, painful and made me feel a bit sick. I got the shakes and that hyper-excited feeling that I have had with the other three kids. I was up most of the night, but they slacked off around 9 this morning. Still having them frequently, but not as intense as last night. We had gone to the little zoo south of here yesterday, so I was up walking most of the day with the 3 boys, so that could have prompted it. Ugh! I wish the ctx would quit teasing me like that!!

Also, my doctor is back in town! I am so happy about that. My MIL will be here Sunday morning to help with the kids. Seems everything is falling into place, and all the worry and obsessing were, once again, non-productive and for nothing.

Only 2 more days!! It all seems so surreal right now.

Wednesday, March 17, 2004

Still here. Not much new to report. The ctx calmed down on Monday and Tuesday, and kicked back in today. They are about the same, but not regular in the least.

I am having trouble sleeping. I wake up very restless....sort of a hyper feeling...and can't get back to sleep for several hours. I tried a bit of Sprite last night, and it seemed to have helped, so I was thinking I might be getting a bit hypoglycemic in the night....at least that is how it feels. I have been having cereal for dinner (anything else gives me painful heartburn at night), and I think it is just too much carbs and not enough protein. Will try something different tonight and see what happens. I really could use some restful sleep.

My doc will be back Friday morning, so I only have to hang tight for one more day! Have been drinking plenty of fluids, and resting. Tomorrow I will take the kids to our little zoo for the morning and do some last minute, LIGHT, shopping.

Only 4 more days, 12 hours until Mia is here!!!

Sunday, March 14, 2004

Tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock.....................................


Contracting pretty good this morning. Nothing regular, but they are there and stronger than BH. Also had another run of morning sickness. Ick.

This is going to be one loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong week.