Saturday, March 20, 2004

It has been a long 2 years. I had my first miscarriage in February of 2002, and now will be giving birth to a little girl in one more day. It all seems so strange! Why the 4 miscarriages? Why did this baby make it? I know that I will never have the answers to those questions while I am alive......only God knows the reasons.

When I was grieving so badly after my 4th miscarriage, I remember asking what I had done to cause them, and my doctor quoted scripture to me. It was from my favorite book of the Bible..the Gospel of John. He quoted John 9:1-4:

As he went along, he saw a man blind from birth. His disciple asked him, "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?"

"Neither this man nor his parents sinned," said Jesus, "but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life. As long as it is day, we must do the work of him who sent me......"

Dr. Tim said, "I think sometimes these things happen and from them we learn how to love more". Hearing these words was the beginning of my journey to healing. I knew that I had a choice.....I could turn my experience into bitterness and sorrow, wallowing in self pity, or I could take what had happened and Glorify God and Christ in my life. I would like to believe that over time, I succeeded in the second option.....I know I reverted to the self pity from time to time, but eventually God's glory came through.

I have since given several talks and shared my story with other believers, who I hope were able to take God's message and turn their own pain over to Him.

So, yes, it has been a rough, long 2 years....but I wouldn't trade it for anything. A friend summed it up best for me.....she said, "Jody, I know it has been so painful and hard. But, you helped create four souls in Heaven praising God....that CANNOT be a bad thing!"

No, it certainly is not!


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